42
TUCK
T he only damper on the euphoric atmosphere in the locker room is that we don’t have a bottle of champagne to pop.
We’re all hyped up about a crushing win, the lopsided W made even sweeter by the fact that we got a couple good swings in on the Withermore assholes beforehand.
They’re not going to come into our house and disrespect us like they did again anytime soon. And no one’s going to disrespect Olivia in front of me and get away with it—I don’t care whose fucking house they’re in.
We shower quickly, still buzzing and talking about the game. The two goals I scored were almost as sweet as the jab I sliced through Ryan’s guard that caught him right on the point of his chin.
When I get back to my locker, I grab my phone and send Olivia a text.
Meet up at Loser’s to celebrate?
I put my phone on the metal shelf inside the locker while I get dressed. Once I’ve pulled on a shirt, I check my phone to see Olivia’s response.
Olivia
I’m tired. I’m just going to stay home.
My stomach sinks. Even though it’s just a text message, just words on a screen, something feels … off about it. There’s a gnawing sensation right at the base of my neck that something’s wrong.
I tell the guys to go ahead without me while I go check on Olivia. When she opens the door of her house for me, the small weight in my stomach grows bigger and pulls it lower.
Something is wrong, I can tell immediately.
“What are you doing here?” is the first thing she says to me. Not exactly a greeting that puts my nerves at ease.
Still, I force a smile on my face and the usual smooth drawl into my voice. “Visiting you, what’s it look like?”
Her lips don’t even twitch a fraction of a centimeter.
She shrugs and steps aside, giving me space to walk in. “Summer’s out with Hudson and the team,” she says.
“You wore yourself out cheering for me too much to do anything else tonight, huh?” Another failure to elicit any upward movement at the edges of her mouth.
In fact, it earns me the opposite. Her lips tug down and her brow scrunches.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Noth—” The word is halfway out of her mouth when her breath stalls for a moment; then she lets out a heavy sigh, shaking her head. “You did exactly what I wanted you not to do tonight.”
Ridges of confusion dig into my forehead. “What do you mean?”
Olivia’s shoulders sag. “I told you that I didn’t want to even have to think about Ryan anymore. But after that stunt you pulled at the beginning of the game? It’s all anyone’s talking about. You and Ryan fighting is even bigger news than it was after last night, and people wanted to find out the story behind it. Guess what? They did. I had to deal with people gawking at me and whispering about me during the whole game.”
My chest tightens. “What? How would anyone even connect you with me and Ryan fighting? That doesn’t make sense.”
“His teammates talking about it on social media. Someone noticing that his Instagram account left that comment on the picture I uploaded of you and me together. I guess there were enough breadcrumbs out there to follow. I just wanted to forget him, not let him take up any more space in my head for even one day longer, but now I’m connected with him in a story that’s already getting national attention!”
The frustration is thick in her voice, and honestly, I get it. I didn’t even think about any of this. The only thing I was able to think about was wanting to slam my knuckles into the face of the asshole who dared to talk disrespectfully about Olivia. The asshole who treated her like shit for years.
“Fuck,” I groan, running my hand through my hair. “I’m sorry you have to deal with this shit.”
Olivia huffs out another heavy sigh. “You should’ve just ignored him. It doesn’t matter what he says.”
“Baby, I wish I could do every single thing you’d ever ask me to do,” I say. “But ignoring someone talking about you the way he did? I’m sorry, that’s one thing I’ll never be able to do. Even if you made me promise, that’s the one promise I’d have to break.”
“Why?” she demands. “What does it matter?”
“ Why? Because I love you.”
Everything goes silent and still. It doesn’t even feel like the molecules in the air are moving. Olivia doesn’t move a muscle, and neither do I. Beats of time tick by without either of us taking a breath.
In this long, drawn-out moment of silence, I feel a heavy weight that I didn’t even know I was carrying slip off my shoulders.
I may have uttered those words totally spur of the moment, without even thinking, not even fully realizing what I was saying as they tumbled out of my mouth. But every single syllable was nothing but the truth.
I love Olivia. Maybe this wasn’t the right way to say it for the first time, but I don’t regret that I did. If I could turn back time and take those words back, I wouldn’t.
“Tuck …” she says my name like it’s a question. “You can’t be in love with me.”
My brow furrows. “Well, that’s an interesting theory you’ve got there, Olivia. The problem with it is that I am .”
Her arms fold over her chest, like she’s closing herself off. “We hardly know each other. We’ve only been together for a couple weeks.” I can’t tell if she’s saying those words to me, or to herself.
I shake my head. “I first met you five months ago, Olivia. From that very moment, I haven’t thought about another woman. Every single day, I’ve only thought about you . I think five months is long enough to fall in love.”
“But that’s …”
I cut her off, because there’s a question I can’t go another second without asking. “Do you love me?”
Her mouth opens. It stays open as time ticks by. Then it closes. My gaze holds her, our eyes tethered silently.
One fact blares loud in my mind: she didn’t say No .
“I love you, Olivia,” I repeat, because I want to say it again so fucking bad. “I’ve known you long enough to know that. And that’s not going to change any time soon.”
Olivia breaks my gaze, turning her head downward and to the side. She shakes her head. “This is too much right now. I need some space.”
My chest clenches painfully. I can’t say I ever had a specific fantasy of what it would be like the first time I tell Olivia that I love her, but it at least would have included her saying it back.
Still, I take a deep breath and try to push out the negative feelings. I can tell this has been a rough day for Olivia. Her having to see that piece of shit ex of hers. Me doing something that’s now made it even harder for her to forget him and move on. And then I come over and drop this bomb on her.
It’s a lot to deal with. I get it. If she needs space, I’ll give it to her for now. But no matter how much space is between us, I’ll still be loving her.
“You need space, fine,” I say. “But don’t think I didn’t mean what I said. Don’t think that those were just words I spewed out without knowing what I was saying. I love you, Olivia.”
Then I give her the space she asked for, hoping like hell that next time I see her, she’s ready to tell me she feels the same way I do.