LUNA
I take the last sip of my espresso and find it cold. Cid is purring in my lap, and I’ve just sent off a poetry submission to a highly regarded literary journal. Keeping myself busy, I’ve discovered, is one way to keep my mind off Priest.
I wish I didn’t miss him.
I wish I hadn’t fallen in love with him.
I wish so many things.
Sighing, I rub Cid under his chin in his favorite spot. He rolls obligingly, giving me more access. At least we have each other. I rescued Cid, and he did the same for me.
My phone lights up on my desk with the contact for the building’s entry system. Looks like I have a visitor. It’s taken me a few weeks not to hope that it’s Priest every time someone drops by. But it’s never him.
I answer.
“Mrs. Andriani?”
The name still feels wrong, especially since I never legally changed it and I’ll soon be getting a divorce anyway. It takes me a beat to adjust and then recognize the voice at the other end.
“Rocco? Is that you?”
He clears his throat. “Yes, Mrs. Andriani. It’s me.”
For a second, I think he’s here because he drove Priest. My heart soars. But then Rocco speaks again, and it promptly plummets to earth.
“The boss found one of your books, and he asked me to bring it to you.”
A book. Not Priest. Why would I have thought it would be him?
Stupid Luna. He doesn’t want you. Doesn’t love you.
I think that’s what hurts the most. Everything we went through, everything we shared, and then for him to turn his back on me. It was like he flipped a switch and became someone else.
“Mrs. Andriani? You there?” Rocco asks politely.
Shit. I was lost in my thoughts. Again.
“Come up.”
Cid jumps from my lap and then stretches before wandering toward the window and the kitty perch I put together for him there. I stand and take a deep breath, willing my ridiculous emotions to calm down. I should be able to hold it together long enough for Rocco to drop off the book.
I didn’t even notice one was missing. Probably because my books are still packed neatly in a box, sitting on the floor of the spare bedroom. Unpacking them felt like a final admission that everything was over between Priest and me. And I just haven’t been able to do it yet.
Maybe today will be the day.
There’s a knock at my door.
I rush to the bathroom and look in the mirror.
I’m not wearing any makeup, but at least my hair is clean.
I’ve looked worse. And there’s nothing stuck between my teeth.
I don’t know why I care about my appearance, but for some reason, the thought of Rocco reporting back to Priest that I look like I haven’t been sleeping hurts my ego.
Another knock sounds, this one a bit louder, so I leave the bathroom and head to the door. Without looking out the peephole, I disengage the dead bolt and chain.
When I open the door, it’s not Rocco standing there, holding my copy of My Life by Water in his beautiful, tattooed hands.
It’s Priest.
“Hey,” he says, like it’s the most natural thing in the world for him to be standing at my apartment door after he ghosted me a month ago.
His voice is as deep and delicious as I remember. A little raspy, a little rough.
“Hey,” I manage, feeling suddenly vulnerable.
I’m not wearing a bra. I’m dressed in an old concert tee and booty shorts. My heart may have been crushed by this man, but my body doesn’t care. It’s drinking in all six foot three of gorgeous gangster.
He rakes me from head to toe with a burning stare, like he’s reading my mind, and then his icy-blue eyes return to mine. “Can I come in?”
Letting him into my space is a bad idea. A terrible, no-good, horrible idea. I should grab the book and tell him to fuck off.
“Sure,” I say instead, taking a step back.
He saunters into my apartment like he belongs here, and I close the door behind him.
“So, this is your place.”
I cross my arms over my chest because my nipples are saluting him and I don’t want him to get any ideas. “This is my place.”
God, he’s so sexy. So devastatingly handsome.
He’s wearing a suit that clings to his muscled body, and his hair is a bit longer than it was when I saw him last. He’s grown a beard.
The beard is hot. Looking a bit closer, I see dark shadows under his eyes.
I wonder if he’s had the same trouble sleeping that I have.
If breaking up with me affected him at all, because it destroyed me.
“Why did you decide to stay?” he asks, his gaze intense.
So intense I almost have to look away. “Because I didn’t want to go back to Iowa. Not after…everything.”
Cid makes a small mew from over at the window, protesting a stranger in his space.
Priest frowns. “What was that noise?”
“It’s Cid.”
His cool mask shatters. He looks furious.
“Who the fuck is Cid?”
The urge to let him wallow in jealousy is strong. He’s got some nerve—he’s the one who left me. But I’m too emotionally drained to play games.
“He’s my cat,” I explain, gesturing to where Cid is lying on his kitty perch, pinning Priest with a wary seafoam glare.
“You have a cat.”
“Yup.” I pop the p, feeling awkward and raw and ragged.
I love this man. So much, it’s an ache deep inside me.
He rubs his jaw, still holding my book in one hand. He should look ridiculous, a tatted, dangerous Mafia don standing in my modest apartment, holding a book of poetry. But he doesn’t. And I want to wrap myself around him and never let go, which annoys me.
“Look,” I snap. “Not to be rude, but why are you here?”
“To give you this book.” He holds it out to me.
I take it from him. “Thanks. I guess it got left behind in the shuffle.”
“It didn’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“I kept it.” He passes a hand over his jaw again, looking uncomfortable. “When the guys packed up your things, I took this book.”
“Why?”
“Because I wanted to keep some small part of you, even if I couldn’t have you.”
My stomach bottoms out. “I don’t understand.”
“When I got that call from Bruno telling me you’d been taken, it was the worst fucking day of my life, Luna.
And when I saw you being held hostage at gunpoint, I lost it.
I realized that I had to free you from me, from the marriage, from the fucked-up world I live in.
I couldn’t risk you getting hurt again or worse.
” He pauses, runs a hand through his dark hair.
“So I walked away from you. It was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done.
This last month has been hell without you. ”
My heart is pounding so furiously that I wonder if he can hear it.
“If it was so hard, why did you stay away for so long?”
“Because I didn’t know you were here. I just found out this morning that you never left.
This whole time, I’ve been thinking that I made the right decision.
That you were back in Iowa where you wanted to be, that I’d given you back the future that I’d taken from you.
But the second I learned you were here, I knew I had to come to you.
I’m a selfish motherfucker because I couldn’t let you have your space.
Not without telling you that I love you. ”
He loves me.
Priest just told me that he loves me .
I set my book down on the counter before I drop it, because my record isn’t currently that great. And then I stare at him, a slow, steady burst of hope blossoming deep inside me. Growing bigger with every second.
“You love me,” I repeat.
“I should have told you before,” he says solemnly. “I should have let you make the choice for yourself a month ago. But I didn’t, and I was wrong, and I’m so fucking sorry. I’ve been a wreck without you, baby.”
Tears sting my eyes. “Same.”
He comes to me then, hauling me into his arms. It feels right. So right. It feels like coming home.
He buries his face in my hair and inhales like he’s desperate to drink me in.
“The choice is yours, Luna. You know what my world is like. I can’t change who I am.
And I can’t promise that there will never be danger.
It comes with the territory. But I can promise you that I’ll love you forever.
That I’ll treat you like a queen. That I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy. ”
I tip my head back to look at him. “You don’t want a divorce?”
“I never wanted a divorce. Amore mio , I’m so fucking in love with you that I can’t think straight.”
“Good, because I don’t want a divorce either.” I stop, taking a breath, because this is a huge step for me. It feels a little like jumping off a cliff, taking the leap from the life I thought I wanted for myself to the life I can build with him. “And I feel the same way. I love you too.”
“You do?”
I cup his face in my hands, my heart squeezing painfully in my chest. “I do.”
“Fuck, baby.” His face hardens then. “Consider this your warning. I set you free once, but I’m not strong enough to do it again. If you go home with me today, I’m never letting you go.”
I know how much an admission like this cost him, and it makes me love him even more.
“I don’t want you to let me go,” I tell him. “I want to be with you, Matteo. Always. Whatever that means for us. We’ll figure it out together.”
With a growl, he slams his mouth onto mine. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back. He lifts me off the floor, ravishing my mouth like he’s been starving for me.
We’re breathless when we come up for air.
“Which door is to your bedroom, baby?”
I nod toward a door at my right. “In there.”
He scoops me up. “It’s been too long since I’ve been inside you.”
My clit pulses. “Yes.”
In a blur, he carries me into my bedroom and lays me gently on the bed. He strips me slowly, kissing every inch of my skin as he unwraps me like I’m the best present on Christmas morning. When he buries his face between my legs, I arch into his mouth.
“I missed you, baby.” He thrusts his tongue into me, then flicks it over my clit, showing me just how much.
“I missed you too,” I manage on a moan as he sucks hard and then sinks two fingers deep.
“I’ve missed this gorgeous pussy.” He fucks me with his fingers until I come undone.
My orgasm roars through me like a hurricane.
Priest starts stripping out of his suit.
I sit up to help him, tearing off his clothes, desperate to be naked with him.
Then he presses me back on the bed and sinks into me in one thrust. He fuses his mouth over mine and kisses me like I’m breakable, making love to me slowly, tenderly.
Making me feel how much he loves me with every kiss, every touch.
This time is different from the others that came before, our connection deeper, stronger than ever.
He circles my clit and sucks my nipple, and just like that, I lose control, clenching on his cock as he drives into me.
It doesn’t take long before he reaches his own release as the ripples of mine are still surging through me.
At the last second, he pulls out and grips his cock as he paints my stomach with hot spurts.
“I’m so fucking glad you forgive me for fucking everything up,” he murmurs as he takes me into his arms, not even bothering to clean me up.
I like wearing him on me anyway. I missed him more than I can possibly convey.
I kiss his chest right over his steadily beating heart, cuddled intimately against him. “Just so you know, Cid is part of the package now.”
He chuckles and sifts his fingers through my hair. “Whatever makes you happy, amore mio .”