"I T'S M AX, HER brOTHER, BOZO. You can turn off the angry-bear act."
I don't admit to Honor that it isn't an act.
It's the first time I've met her and she already thinks I'm a piece of shit.
Adding jealous to that doesn't help my cause.
She already doesn't like me because I upset Clara, but the fact I called every hospital in Brooklyn asking for her until I found the right one hasn't helped.
"Thanks for the heads-up." Now that they're apart, it's more obvious. "And for your help getting me in."
"I don't like you. You should know that straightaway. I'm not a pretend type of woman so I'm not going to be nice for the sake of your feelings," she says, not a hint of humor in her tone.
"Got it…"
"So just know, I could absolutely murder you and make it look like natural causes. I'm really great at my job. Do not fucking hurt her." Honor is a whole foot shorter than me and I'm still terrified of her. "Or I will hurt you."
"I promise you I won't."
Clara is still looking over in shock when I finally move away from Honor, luckily unscathed. It's only been seventy-two hours since I last saw her and it feels like a lifetime. I'm now thinking I should've called first, but I didn't want her ignoring me to persuade me not to come here.
I watch Clara take a deep breath. She hands her champagne flute to her brother, pulls the front of her dress away from her shoes, then turns a one eighty and speeds away from me.
I deserve that.
"Clara," I call after her, but she doesn't slow down.
I pass her brother easily; he doesn't stand in my way or try to talk to me.
She comes to a hallway, looks left and right before choosing to go right, which she quickly learns leads to an empty room with no exit other than the way she came in.
I close the door behind us, shutting out the music of the event. "I just want to talk to you."
"Have you heard of making phone calls? It's generally considered the normal way to communicate with someone instead of showing up uninvited to a work event," she snaps.
Even when she's angry at me, I just want to be close to her. "I didn't think you'd answer."
"Locking me in a room is not the normal alternative to getting your calls screened." She folds her arms over her chest; her red hair is in waves today, scattered across her shoulders.
I take a few steps toward her, closing the gap and putting space between me and the door. "You can leave if you want to. I won't stop you from walking out, but I hope you'll hear what I have to say."
My heart smashes against my chest, body frozen waiting for her to move, but she doesn't. "I'm listening."
"I was wrong, Clara, and I'm so, so sorry.
" I take a step toward her, but she takes a step back.
"I made you feel like you need to be a different person around me, and it was immature and selfish. I should've either accepted you for who you are or stayed away from you.
It isn't fair that I wanted you but only the bits that didn't feel influenced by your family and job.
"The truth is, I want all of you. I need all of you. You take everything in life and make it better, make it brighter. I took that for granted but I need you to know that it won't happen again."
She looks down at her feet. "That's really easy for you to say but as soon as something happens that you don't like, I'm public enemy number one again. I deserve better."
I drag my hand over my jaw, shuffle forward, and this time she doesn't move. In fact she also takes a step forward. It's like we're playing an elaborate game of human chess, except it feels like we're both losing.
"I've been trying to fill the role of town protector my entire adult life. I'm sure a therapist can work out why better than I can. Flo, obviously, has her theories, which she's voiced loudly and publicly without warning."
"I think I could add a few theories too," she mumbles.
"I was embarrassed when everything happened with Davenport. I felt like I let everyone down and it took me back to being a teen. It was easier when we had this thing to blame, this common enemy in Davenport. Then you showed up.
"And you flipped everything I thought I knew on its head. You make everything feel achievable and exciting. It felt good to have this person who I started to believe actually cared about us. Me, and the people in my town who I love."
Her bottom lip wobbles. "I do care."
"I know, baby," I say softly. "I just forgot that when the toys showed up and I learned about your promotion. Flo had deleted the videos and I could sense something was off, and I felt like I was getting fooled again and I panicked. It's no excuse and—"
"I shouldn't have ordered the toys," she says flatly. "I'm sorry. You were right and I should've considered the message it was sending long before you told me. I was overly excited to be able to tick another thing off my plan. I should've thought of how it would make you feel."
"I should've let you talk about all the parts of you, instead of acting like your dad was going to show up like Beetlejuice if you said his name three times. It was petty and I'm done with it."
She wipes under her eyes with her thumbs and scoffs. "I can't promise you that won't happen."
I take another careful step toward her. "I'm never going to let you down again, I promise.
I'm not saying I'm going to be perfect, I'm still going to keep molasses in the refrigerator and argue that Die Hard is a Christmas movie.
But the insecure guy from three days ago is gone.
He was put through an intervention that supposedly wasn't an intervention by his neighbors who are really sad that you're not around anymore. "
She sighs, lets her shoulders drop. Beneath how beautiful she looks she seems drained. "I'm just scared you're never going to fully trust me, Jack."
"I understand that. I know that you think that because of how I've acted but I know that I can convince you otherwise.
" I fidget in my tux. It's a rental and doesn't quite fit me right.
"And I'm going to have more free time. We're going to divide up the Holly responsibilities more evenly to reduce the pressure. "
For the first time since I got here, she smiles. "I'm glad you're getting help."
"Thanks to you. Dove basically forced me to talk about it because you talked to her. I should've done it a long time ago.
" There's a stretch of silence where she doesn't say anything.
My pulse starts to pick up in panic that we've come to a natural halt and this is where it ends.
"I don't want this to be it for us, Clara. I'm not ready for this to be it."
I don't know if it's the moody lighting of the room or the topic of conversation, but I don't feel good. Clara looks wary and tired. "What happened to casual no strings?"
She finally lets me close those last few steps of space between us. I reach for her face slowly; she lets me hold it in my hands. Her eyes soften, hands reach for the front of my shirt. "I plan on falling madly in love with you, Clara Davenport. And I'd really like it if you were around to see it."
She moves onto her tiptoes. "I think that I'd like to be around to see it too."
My hands sink into her hair at the nape of her neck as I kiss her hard. Every nerve in my body seems to calm at her touch, then heighten. "It's been torture not being able to touch you," I say, breaking us apart to memorize her face.
She kisses me deeply, her hands cupping my cheeks. "I can't believe you shaved your beard."
The relief from her is palpable. "It was ugly."
She nods enthusiastically. "It was so ugly and you're so handsome.
" Clara moves me backward until my calves hit a leather couch lining the wall of the room; I sink into it and pull her onto my knee.
"We can't have make-up sex in here because I'm going to quit my job and if we get caught everyone will think I've been fired. "
I blink slowly. "Sorry, back up. You're doing what?"
"I'm going into business with my brother," she says, testing the words out like they're new to her too.
"Doing what?"
She laughs lightly. "Uh, I don't really know yet.
We haven't ironed out the details but it'll be something toy related.
It's all I know really. I know it's impulsive but I have a lot of savings and"—she pauses—"and I've decided I deserve better.
I want to feel appreciated. Max and I push each other to be better, I'm sure we'll land on something that feels right. "
I have so many questions. "But what about your promotion?"
"Dad doesn't value my input now, he isn't going to value it in a better role."
I chew the inside of my cheek, thinking how to ask my next question. "This isn't because of me, is it? Because I made you feel so bad?"
Clara rolls her eyes and audibly groans. "What? Why are men so self-centered? No , I'm not imploding my career for you, Jack. I'm imploding my career because my dad doesn't pay me enough attention. The way it was intended."
I wrap my arms around her and pull her closer to my chest. I kiss the top of her head and breathe in her shampoo.
"You can joke about daddy issues all you want, but I'm so fucking proud of you.
You're going to be amazing. Look what you achieved in Fraser Falls in such a short time.
Imagine what you can do at your own company. "
We sit together quietly, listening to the crackle of the fire in the corner of the room. It feels like another world beyond the door, one that I don't feel part of, but I'll try to for Clara. Eventually she breaks the silence. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you, too. I've been so miserable they tricked me into going to the Green Light to talk some sense into me. Oh shit, that reminds me. I have town updates."
That gets her attention and she sits up straight, eager eyed.
"Arthur approved Tommy's patio."
Her jaw drops. "You're joking!"
"I'd never joke about something so serious and important. Tommy did a presentation at the town meeting." Even in the moody lighting, I see her blush. "Knocked it out of the park."
"I'm so happy for him," she says gently.
"It's because you put together such a good case," I say, running my finger up and down the silk fabric of her dress covering her thigh. "Congratulations on another success to tick off in your serial killer closet."
"I didn't do that much. I just gave him some direction. I'm happy for him. Really happy."
"Donald's request to remove the cell towers has once again been denied," I say.
Clara looks like she's going to burst into tears. "Donald was at a town meeting?"
"He was only there long enough to have his request denied, then he made a dramatic exit in his Area 51 shirt."
"I can't believe I missed him," she says, voice just above a whisper.
"You also missed something else pretty significant." I dig in my jacket pocket for my cell and bring up the link Flo showed me yesterday. "Flo asked me to show you this and tell you that this is your achievement."
Clara's expression settles into something confused as she reaches for my phone. Her eyes scan the screen, the bright light illuminating her face so I can watch her every reaction.
"?The Best Town You Didn't Know About Until Now,'?" she reads out. "Oh my God, he came."
"Keep reading."
Her fingers frantically move the screen. "Dear reader, today I bring to you a secret that I have no intention of keeping. You can keep your Hallmark movies, because every holiday season, I'm heading to Fraser Falls. Jack, this is incredible. He's got thousands and thousands of followers."
"Baby, keep reading."
"I need to be honest with you: this hidden gem of a town wasn't going to be on my winter itinerary.
I actually canceled a trip there and boy am I kicking myself that I nearly missed out on this delightfully charming community.
Thankfully, a kind local, whom we'll call C, emailed me urging me to reconsider.
C, if you're reading this, thanks, girl.
" Clara's eyes are watering, but she keeps going.
"Reader, get comfortable, because I'm about to tell you all about the most magical place you've never heard of.
If you've always wanted to travel to Europe but don't have the air miles, this one's definitely for you. "
"The B & B is booking up faster than Maggie can answer the phone," I say, pushing her hair behind her ears. "You did this, Clara. And there's a lot of people who'd like to say thank you to your face. Will you make your one-time trip to Fraser Falls a hell of a lot more than that?"
She bites her lip, punishes me with a long pause. "I have conditions."
"I'd expect nothing less. Hit me."
Clara holds up one finger. "When you visit me, you're required to bring Elf," she says seriously.
I laugh. "Obviously. He would be here right now but someone's been feeding him reindeer-shaped dog treats and his tux wouldn't fit."
She puts up a second. "No more off-limits topics."
"Done."
A third finger pops up. "You get me a ticket to the nativity play. And you never grow your stubble out."
I scratch at my neck awkwardly. "Is it romantic or weird if I tell you I bought you one two weeks ago? Beards are out."
"It's definitely romantic." A fourth finger. "You tell me who the naked neighbor is."
I suck an intake of breath through my teeth awkwardly. "Can't agree to that one. Classified town secrets."
She looks shocked. "I know it's Arthur. I can feel it in my bones."
I kiss her slowly, savoring that we're ending today having this ridiculous-ass conversation. "I guess you'll have to move to Fraser Falls and find out."