ALEX
Papa: I am so damned proud of you, Alex. Timber’s Grand Opening was fantastic because you’ve worked hard to make it an amazing community gathering spot. Your dad and I couldn’t be happier for you.
Dad: I made fun of Blue for bringing the travel pack of tissues to your opening night tonight. But he got the last laugh. I used every single one of them. You’re where you’re meant to be, Alex. And we are so proud. Love you.
_____________________
I woke up dead. Had to be death, anyway, because I couldn’t imagine anything worse.
“Get your ass up, Grape,” Ella muttered, smacking me on the leg through my bedcovers. “Grandma and Grandpa need our help out at the lodge and voluntold both of us. Apparently, Grandma and Aunt Ginger got it into their heads to do some last-minute holiday things, and we’re the free labor.”
I pulled the pillow over my face. “I’m happy to be disowned. Just tell them I can’t make it on account of personal death.”
Unfortunately, the death excuse didn’t work on her, and she forced me into the bathroom for a hot shower. When I didn’t come out, she threatened to come in and forcibly remove me. The thought of my sister intruding on my bodily privacy was enough to get me going.
The day turned out to be okay. I’d forced myself to put Mali in charge for the day since we were only open until four tonight to make up for how late last night had gone with the special tasting flights event.
By noon, my hangover was under control, and by five, I was enjoying myself enough to be grateful I didn’t need to race back to Timber for the dinner rush.
Just as I was beginning to think of heading home for the night, a call came in from my uncle Joel.
“Hey,” I answered with a smile. “I heard you guys weren’t getting in till tomorrow. You need a pickup from the airstrip?”
“Nah, Simone’s got that worked out. Listen, my guys asked around at that club you told me about. Pinch?”
I frowned and headed to a corner of the lodge’s kitchen for a little privacy. “Yeah?”
“We couldn’t find the guy you guys met at the farmer’s market.
The one who recognized Tavo. From what we found out, he doesn’t work at Pinch anymore.
But my guy stuck around and partied, and in the past few weeks, he’s seen the judge there with random guys.
We were just about to declare Tavo in the clear when my guy overheard the judge say something about Montana.
So then my guy tries to get chatty with him and says, ‘Oh, I love Montana. I’ve spent a bunch of time there.
Yellowstone and Glacier, right?’ And the judge asks what he knows about a little town north of Yellowstone called Legacy. ”
I glanced across the kitchen, where Tavo was laughing and bumping shoulders with my cousin Rosie. “Shit, Joel. Judge Miller knows where Tavo is.”
“Yeah. But we don’t know what he’s planning to do about it. Until we can figure it out, tell Tavo to stay at the lodge, okay? I already called Derek, and he’ll be keeping an eye on him, but that’ll be easier if Tavo stays on Thomas and Rebecca’s property.”
Suddenly, the chipper mood I’d been forcing on myself all day faded away and left me disappointed and heartsick again. Nothing seemed to be going right.
I had a vague memory of spouting poetry in Judd’s front yard, but then I’d passed out. Tavo had said the chief had driven me home, but I’d been too embarrassed to ask if he knew what had happened before that.
The entire thing was mortifying, and I’d hoped that pretending it hadn’t happened would make it so.
It hadn’t.
And now this shit with Tavo. The poor guy was going to have to move again. Maybe if he went back to South Carolina with Maverick and Beau after Christmas, he could start over there. My cousin Gabe still lived there, and he could help Tavo meet people and find a job.
After checking in with Tavo and saying goodbye, I found Ella in the living room, playing Sequence with Uncle Derek.
“I’m headed out. Big day at work tomorrow. But I’ll see everyone at the Starlight Spectacular the day after.”
Everyone sent me lazy goodbyes or waved from their spots on sofas and chairs until I was out the door and into the freezing cold night.
I considered swinging by Kincaid’s place to apologize for last night but decided that probably wasn’t a good idea.
God, I missed him.
I missed his laugh. I missed his scent. I missed the rumble of his voice and the glint in his eyes when he teased me. I missed the feel of him against me—and not just for sex, although, fuck, that too. I missed being held in his arms, comfortable and secure, with his heartbeat under my ear.
Over the past few weeks, my brain had been processing in the background all of the things I’d been too panicked and heartsick to consider when I’d first learned the truth about Judd being IndexEcho.
I realized now that Judd hadn’t actually been hiding it from me—not for longer than the day it took for him to tell me in person.
I knew both of us had reacted in hurt and anger and had said things we didn’t mean that night.
I even understood that Judd’s fire-code bullshit about my Christmas decorations was just like me pretending I only wanted him for sex or cuddles—a pretense to be together without being together.
I imagined Kincaid was really fucking angry about me showing up in his yard last night… and I didn’t blame him. I’d been acting like a child.
But I didn’t know what to do about it. I didn’t think there was anything I could do, besides trying harder to stay away.
Because deep down, I was still afraid.
Hell, I was fucking terrified.
If I let myself fall for Judd, it wouldn’t be a halfway thing. I’d be all-in, one-and-done, forever-and-ever. It would be the fairy-tale kind of love my parents, and grandparents, and uncles had found. The kind I’d always dreamed of finding. And we would be so damn happy…
And then one day, I’d lose him.
Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not for years or decades. But the fear would always be there. Haunting me.
If I truly let myself love Judd Kincaid and then lost him again, it would break me into such tiny pieces no therapist or well-meaning siblings would ever be able to put me back together.
So as much as I missed him, as much as I longed to be with him, it was simply safer to hold back. To stay away.
Halfway home, my phone rang with a call from Ella, and I answered it immediately, eager for the distraction.
“I hope you’re calling to tell me you finally beat Derek at Sequence,” I said with a laugh. “Because that man is spooky good, but he’s not—”
“There’s a fire at Timber,” she said urgently. “Derek got a call from Trace, who heard it on the dispatch radio. Legacy FD is on the way.”
“Gotta go, Ells,” I said, disconnecting.
On the drive home, I forced myself not to put the pedal to the metal. No one in Legacy’s emergency services community needed me causing two incidents tonight. Thankfully, I’d been close to home when her call had come in.
When I pulled up the side road that led to the back entrance, the top half of the back of the building was encased in an orange glow, and smoke poured out of one corner of the roof into the sky. My stomach dropped, thinking of all the work I’d put into Timber going up in flames.
But that was nothing compared to what I felt when Judd Kincaid screeched to a halt on the other side of the street, lunged out of his truck, and went running toward the back entrance of my building.
Without a helmet or mask. Without his heavy boots or Nomex clothing.
Without oxygen or heavy equipment.
Without waiting for backup.
In violation of at least five thousand of those fucking fire-safety protocols he could recite from memory.
I threw my door open and screamed, “No!” But there was no way he could hear me over the shriek of the sirens, the noise of the engines that arrived five seconds too late, and the shouting of his crew trying to call him back.
As soon as he disappeared into that burning building, my breath got stuck in my lungs. My entire body went cold.
And I knew without a single breath of hesitation that I’d rather my restaurant—my life’s dream—burn to the ground than have one hair on Judd Kincaid’s body harmed.
So I started running.