ZOYA
“Do you think you could actually be pregnant?” Stevie whispered, as she folded Dennis’s clothes while simultaneously packing her clothes for the trip.
I shrugged, feeling silly even thinking that I could be. “My period is never late. That bitch is always on time and ready to cause pain.”
“Have you spoken to Gerry?” She folded a pair of trousers, which took my focus off the fact that she called my man Gerry.
“I’m scared to tell him… I’m a teen mom.”
Stevie paused packing and looked at me. “Girl, what?”
I ran my hand through my hair. “I don’t know. I’m scared to tell him.”
Stevie sat down next to me on the floor and moved the pile of clothes she folded. “He told you to let him make you parents, right?”
“Yeah, but—”
“You agreed, right?”
“Yeah, but we—”
“He shot your club up, and you scared to tell him the truth? I get why I was scared to tell your brother, but you have no worries, Zoy. He clearly wants to be a father, and you want to be a mother, no?”
“I don’t know. Knowing how fucked up my life truly is and how I came into this world, it might not be a good time to have a child.”
Stevie pushed her glasses up. “You are a Caselli, and your brothers and sister love you. None of what you learned changes a thing.”
“Would Menace have put up with half the shit he has if he had known sooner? I can’t help but to think about all of this.”
“Yes.” Stevie was almost offended that I asked the question. “Your brother loves you all very much. At times, I’m sad for him.”
“Why?”
“Because while you and Landon have a friendship, he doesn’t have that with you guys. He had to be your parent, not your friend. He’s had to make tough decisions, and he does place a lot of the blame on himself.”
I remembered how he mentioned he couldn’t get over me screaming I hated him and wished he would die. Back then, I meant every single word because I was hurt. So much was happening, and then he stepped in and ruined everything without an explanation. Leaving me in the dark like he had always done.
“Yeah.”
“Call Dr. Killian, Zoya… stop sitting back and trying to solve all your problems alone. Both you and Skyler need to start listening to me.”
“She’s still on this self-discovery quest?”
Skyler was on this new path of trying to find out who she was. I think she was finally realizing that she wasn’t just a mom, and that her actual mom was gone. She knew her mother passed away, but she had been on auto pilot, survival mode, and now she didn’t have to be.
Corleon and Jeffie helped her with Estella, so she didn’t have to stress. Skyler was able to exist without worrying about being a mother and all the stress that came with it.
Stevie looked around and leaned forward, whispering. “She hasn’t been taking her medicine. She’s cool with the girl she met, who has told her about natural remedies. Last month, she went to some wellness retreat with her, and I think it’s a fucking cult.”
“Menace knows?”
“No. She made me swear to keep her business to just me… I want to tell Corleon, but she’s also my cousin, you know?”
Stevie was in a tough place because Skyler was her cousin. At one point, all they had were each other, and now that Stevie was a wife with a child and a husband that would solve every single problem she had, Skyler couldn’t relate.
Not because she couldn’t.
Corleon couldn’t legally marry both Jeffie and Skyler, but he would make the commitment and made sure they both didn’t want for anything.
“I can’t even talk shit because she’s scared. All of this is a lot on her, Stevie.” I said and she sighed.
“Me and Duke went over to visit her, and her house is a mess. Corleon said Estella barely stays over there… I don’t know, Zoy. I try to be there, but she pushes me away.”
“All you can do is continue to be there and pray for her, Stevie. As much as you love her, she’s a grown woman and will make her own decisions.”
Menace walked into their bedroom with Dennis strapped to his chest. He was still in his house clothes with his du-rag on and had one on Dennis as he stared at us, not saying a word. Stevie got off the floor, and went into the closet, coming out with a bathing suit in her hands.
“Boo, I don’t even feel good… think I might be dying or some shit,” he muttered.
Stevie dropped the bathing suits into the suitcase. “Mavie, you are perfectly fine. We just had our annual checkups. Mentally, who really knows if you’re fine. Physically, you are as healthy as a horse.”
“I’m crazy, Wonder?”
“Yes… think we all can agree. Mavie, I’m with you all the time… with Dennis all the time. I never get to have girl time… I love being in our bubble, but mama needs to breathe too.”
Stevie gave up a lot to be Menace Caselli’s wife, and I don’t think she ever regretted it. In this moment, I didn’t see Mrs. Caselli, I saw Stevie, a girl who didn’t have many friends, that wanted to get from under her husband and son.
Experience a real girl’s trip.
“I want that for you, Wonder… but at the expense of me dying? Fuck your husband? You wanna collect all the life insurance money?”
I snorted because I never noticed how dramatic and lovesick my brother was. This man was pretending to be sick, so his wife didn’t go away on a girl’s trip.
He turned to look at me. “She holds all ya’ll money in her hands… the fuck you doing here?”
I smiled because he went right back to treating me how he always treated me. He didn’t baby foot or acknowledge the elephant in the room.
I never took offense to any of the things my brother said. Mainly because he was angry because I was the one stealing his wife away. As much as he and Stevie loved being with each other, he needed to let my girl go enjoy being just a girl.
A lot of women needed to remember that.
Before becoming girlfriends, fiancées or wives.
Even after we became mothers, and our lives weren’t our own anymore, we needed to remember that we were all just girls.
Just girls who had to grow into women way too quickly.
So quickly that some of us never truly experienced what it was like to just be a girl.
Since Kora couldn’t make my birthday trip, the next best thing was my sister-in-law and my future sister-in-law.
“You know, Don is perfectly fine sending his fiancée with us… didn’t put up any fight.”
Menace rubbed the top of his son’s head like a globe. “Don hates his future wife… ain’t hear that from me.”
“Maverick!” Stevie snorted and walked over toward him.
It was the way my brother stared down at her, he was gone. Not knowing what to do with himself because she was leaving their bubble without him. “You gonna let me smell it before you go?”
“You can do mor—”
“Stevie, I will wait downstairs because I’m not about to be subjected to this.” I quickly detached my nephew and left the room with him.
These fucks didn’t even wait a second before their double doors slammed, and I shuttered in disgust. “Your parents are gross, Dennis.”
I held my nephew as I made it downstairs. He was so good, staring at me with Menace’s eyes, and Stevie’s strawberry blonde hair.
He was the perfect mixture of them both.
This was what a baby looked like when it was conceived in love. If I was pregnant, would my baby come out looking like Gerald and me combined?
I had to stop thinking like that because my period was going to come. It has done this before, and I knew better than to fall for this.
Every time I thought I was pregnant with Sigel’s baby, then my period would show her ass. I remember always feeling between sad and relieved, never knowing why I felt relief when this was what I wanted.
I placed him in his little bouncer machine thingy, and strapped him in.
I stared out the window at the rain, praying that it eventually stopped.
Even with me not going into the office, I was still working from home, so I checked a few emails.
With all the shit going on in the media and unexplained murders of people surrounding this case, his trial had been pushed back.
The team was mostly trying to get their shit together while having that extra granted time.
After Kofi’s trial, I was real uneasy about returning right now. I needed some space to breathe. I felt hands cover my eyes but smelled that signature scent and knew who it was. His calloused hands scratched my eyelids.
“Say the wrong name and we gonna have a fucking problem.” He spoke into my ear, then kissed it.
I giggled. “Hi, Gerald.”
He removed his hand and kissed me on the cheek, coming around the counter. “You good?”
Goo stared at me, making me uncomfortable. “Wha…what you mean?”
“I’m asking you, baby, are you good?”
I discreetly let out a sigh of relief. “Yep… just replying to some emails. Where are you coming from?”
“Doing something for your brother.”
“You work for him.”
He raised his brow. “Work for him. Man nuh wuk fi nuh man.”
“I need to tal—”
“Thank God you’re alive… wouldn’t know because you don’t answer yo fucking phone,” Don said as he walked from the front.
“You said you would be nice,” Navy scolded him.
He ignored his fiancée and focused on me. “You think I care to check in with you when you accused me of being a junkie?”
“The fuck?” Goo replied.
Don focused on me. “You know that’s not what the fuck I said.”
“You implied that I abuse my medicine, Landon. No matter what goes on with you, I never accused you of doing something wild. I could have accused you of having a sex addiction… did I?”
“I would actually believe that,” Navy muttered.
“Pooh.”
“What? You both need to make up because it’s clear that you miss each other.” She stood with her arms folded. “I’m also here because Stevie has a pair of heels that she can’t fit.”
“You might want to leave Stevie alone.”
“Ooh.” Navy caught onto what I was putting down.
I avoided looking at my brother. He had always been my little broke bestie. The one always there to listen to my bullshit, and always there for whatever I wanted to do. These days, it was hard looking at him because he resembled our father.