50
Lyra
Sunlight parted the canopy of branches overhead when Roark slowed the gelding.
He shuddered and doubled over, knocking me forward across the withers.
"Roark." My throat was rough and dry from shouting. I scrambled to catch him before he toppled off the side, but merely managed to fall with him.
The horse whinnied and plodded off in a start, circling the copse until it settled for a bit of long grass. My ribs ached from where I'd struck something hard. Roark had landed on his shoulder and his body shuddered.
Darkness peeled off the trunks of trees, gathering from the edges of the wood, from every corner. Thick and cold, a shape was tangled in the billows of pitch—Skul Drek. The shade of his vibrant eyes was undeniable, and there for a mere moment before the darkness shrouded Roark.
His muscles clenched and pulsed, but as soon as the robe of shadows took him, it faded like morning mists.
Roark's teeth clacked as his body convulsed, his muscles locked. He cracked his eyes and waved one hand, trying to speak.
"What?" I rested a hand on his chest, watching his fingers.
Over and over again, he repeated one word. Fealty . Then lifted his opposing finger.
The fealty bond with Thane. The prince could find me through Roark.
A tap found my wrist. Roark's warm, shocking eyes locked with mine. He moved his fingers against my palm. Take it .
I shook my head. "No. You're…you're a traitor."
Roark shuddered, his jaw tensed. Not to you .
"It will destroy him, Lyra."
I jolted and spun toward the trees. Emi, disheveled and coated in smudges of ash and dirt, stepped between two trees. She blinked, a tear falling to her cheek. When she swiped it away, a streak of mud smeared over her face.
Emi took out a knife from a sheath on her thigh. "The place where the fealty shard was taken must be removed or the craft binding the vow will kill him. If you care for him at all, even if it is only that you want answers, sever it."
"You do it." The thought of cutting through Roark's bones was nauseating.
"Thane's connection will overpower any forced severance unless it is a person to whom Roark holds more loyalty. You are where his loyalty lies."
My pulse would not cease racing. Emi held out the knife. Roark's body was damp and flushed. He gritted his teeth, watching my every move. No mistake, he was in a great deal more pain than he let on.
If what she said was true, the loyalty he'd vowed to Thane was stronger for me. He'd said as much on the lawns—burn it all if I kept breathing.
A furrow dug between my brows when I positioned the knife against the tip of Roark's finger. Emi slid a damp twig between his teeth and drizzled the flesh and blade with ale.
She capped her skin with a shrug. "Best I can do right now."
I glanced down at Roark. His eyes burned in the golden fire I loved. The man stole his way into my heart, and now his truth tore it in two.
I swallowed, hand trembling. "I want answers."
He hesitated, but after a moment gave a quick nod.
I pressed down on the handle of the blade.
Roark's neck arched, threaded in tension, his jaw so tight I thought he might bite through the twig. Emi made quick work of wrapping the bloodied tip.
"Dammit." Emi faced her cousin, pressing her hands along his scar. Roark's face had gone pallid and more blood spilled from the wound and down his chest. "Lyra, in my pack, I have bone tonics. Get them. Now!"
My fingers were locked in spasms of nerves, but I dug through Emi's satchel until one hand curled around the cold glass of a jar. I crept to her side, unsealed the lid. Cedarwood and dust struck my nose.
"I was afraid of this. Dammit." Emi wasted no time and dipped her fingers into the slate paste. "Roark, keep breathing. Don't you dare stop."
"What's happening?"
"Someone is trying to regain control of the dark half. If they succeed and force the split when Roark is trying to hold his own control, it could kill him. We need to soothe the wound and calm the cruel edge."
I didn't understand much of anything, other than Emi thought this would kill Roark. His eyes were shut, his jaw taut, but his body wasn't thrashing so violently.
Emi coated the bloodied gash with the paste, cursing when more blood poured through. "Gods. He's moving too much; it keeps splitting the skin."
I didn't know what to do. I couldn't even think long on what had been done to cause his wound. All I could think was how I didn't want him to die. My fingers curled around his sweaty palm, and my other hand rested over his heart.
Roark's shoulder twitched, but his hand tightened around mine, almost controlled and calm.
Emi's hands stalled. She blinked to my touch, then grinned. "Keep doing that. Maybe talk to him."
I looked down at his face. Beneath the blood and sweat, Roark was there. I combed my fingers through his hair.
"I don't know what to say. Wake up, Roark Ashwood." I let my brow fall to his chest. Blood on his tunic heated my skin. I didn't pull back. "Wake up, so I can see your eyes when I kill you for all this."
At least then I will know you're alive.
Roark's body stopped thrashing, and he looked more like he was sleeping. Emi leaned over him, checking his pastes. I finished securing torn bits of my dress around branches. We'd fashioned a makeshift bower to keep us concealed from nearby roads.
Emi placed her cloak over Roark's shoulders, then came to sit by my side. I hugged my knees against my chest and looked to the few glimmers of stars overhead.
"Lyra."
"Don't." I closed my eyes.
"Be angry if you wish, but at least allow me to explain something."
I didn't encourage her to speak, but neither did I tell her to stop. Emi's eyes glistened. She used the back of her hand to wipe away tears. "First, we will find a way to get back to Darkwin."
I pressed a fist against my mouth. With the threats Fadey and Ingir leveled at him, I could not stomach to think of what they would do.
"We love people in those gates too," Emi said, voice soft. "People who will feel utterly betrayed—"
"Because you did betray them." I tilted my head so my cheek rested on top of my knees. "You have kept this from everyone, from me. I told him I was being tormented by Skul Drek and all this time it was him ."
"Tormented." Emi scoffed and looked to the sky. "You would know if you were tormented by Roark's soul."
"His…soul?" Soul craft.
"He should tell you his tale, for it is his. Not mine." Emi hesitated. "You are angry, and I am sorry if you feel betrayed, but what you do not know is Roark has had very little control over his existence."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning Skul Drek—even as a piece of my cousin's soul—has not answered to him. Beyond his control, blood has spilled for a duty he could never escape."
"He seemed to command it fine enough against the Stav."
"Because of you." Emi shook her head, calming her tone. "Roark is a split soul. Divided between his darkest desires and the man he is in his heart. Skul Drek is a glimpse of his most brutal, cruelest, most inhumane attributes. A damn weapon to be summoned by the one who split his soul. And he was, for years. Until you."
"I don't understand."
Emi folded her legs underneath her and held her hands, palm facing palm. "Imagine being divided in two and one side can reason and act on your own accord. The other is tethered to another mind and purpose. Half a prisoner."
With slow movements Emi began drawing her palms closer together. "Now imagine new, stronger ropes begin pulling the two halves back together. One by one the old tethers begin to snap and the divide between the sides shrinks. They start to align and move as one again. Soon, this new rope entwines with both halves and the old bonds are broken. Two halves are restored and can work as one again."
The gilded ropes in the mirror. Each time I spoke with Skul Drek one rope frayed more, and another strengthened.
I picked at a blade of tall grass at my side. "Are you saying he has drawn the two pieces of his soul back together?"
"I am saying your soul is the new rope, Lyra. You are entwined with him—both sides of him—and you fractured the craft curse that keeps him half a prisoner." Emi played with the ends of her hair. "Roark is not the first Skul Drek. It is a curse that has been burdened on an unfortunate Draven soul since the first Jorvan king realized he could steal the souls of the fallen through bone. But he is the first Skul Drek I know of to restore his two sides because he fell in love with a melder."
"Did Roark…know it was happening?" I lifted my gaze. "He fought Skul Drek in my chamber."
"Not at first," Emi said. "He could always sense a shift, but he wasn't connected enough to know the actions or thoughts of his dark soul. He only knew when a soul was taken, Skul Drek would be summoned to slaughter any Jorvan or Myrdan to replace the stolen soul. But the more he was near you, the more control he gained. He struck Skul Drek that night, didn't he?"
I nodded. "He threw his knife."
"I don't think either expected a wound to form. It was the first hint they were closer to converging than they were separate. The wound that should've appeared on the soul, appeared on Roark."
"Why do it if it would bring him harm?"
Emi smiled. "You still don't understand? Roark had no trust for his own divided soul since they had little connection. He took a strike to protect you."
My eyes went wide. I thought he'd been cut by Skul Drek, but Roark had injured himself…defending me from the darkest piece of himself.
My head was spinning. I did not know what to think. Any thought that formed faded into the next just as swiftly, all to keep the chaos spiraling in my mind.
"He was bound through his own curse and had no choice but to retaliate for every soul bone." Emi tapped my knee and stood. "I don't know much about entwined souls, but I believe you are his sjeleven. I've thought it since you admitted you can feel his words."
My breath caught. Lore on sjeleven was a romantic myth, the notion of two lovers so connected it was as though they shared one soul.
"To what depth, I can't say," Emi went on. "But I know you have brightened the darkness that has consumed him more than anyone before."
Emi left me to find a place to sleep. I looked at Roark's sleeping form and all I heard was Skul Drek's cold rasp. You brighten the night.